Chapter 7 "Dilemma"

"I have to think about that." I stood up, "The registrar's office is at room 103 in the administration building. If you say anything about what happened today, you'll be dead meat. And don't forget that we still have to talk later," I said leaving the room.

Later that afternoon, I baked some cookies. Though we had cooks, I preferred cooking and baking on my own. After all, the kitchen has been a wonderful companion to me since forever.

"Addie?" Bea said coming in, "you weren't inside your room or at the living room, so I figured you'd be here. Ha... Ha... How can you stand the heat in here?" she complained.

"You can stay outside if you want," I laughed as I got the cookies from the oven.

"Wonderful idea." she said leaving the room. I finally finished transferring the cookies, so I went out to the living room, leaving the cookies in the kitchen island.

"I saw Ralph at your school today; we had a bit of a chitchat." Bea said as soon as she spotted me out of the kitchen door. "He really likes you, doesn't he?"

“I don't know,” I shrugged, “but I'm about to find out.”

"He really missed you, too." She said with a mocking grin.

"Shut up," I said as I rushed up the stairs.

I was taking off my clothes as the doorbell rang.

"I'll get it!" Bea yelled. I quickly picked up some clothes and rushed to dress. I came down as Bea met me half-way down the stairs.

"What are you doing?" she said, shocked.

"Uh, I think I was going down the stairs before you interrupted. So yeah, I'm going down now."

"Not while looking like that! You're practically shouting, 'Hey! Look at me! I'm Lin!' "

"What do you mean?" I said looking at my clothes. I realized I was wearing a designer party dress, Lin's favorite, too. Stunned, I looked at Bea.

"Now you know what I mean," she said acting like a Mean Girl, "you better go back to your room and change into a more 'appropriate' look." Right at that moment I heard a pair of feet coming nearer. So I ran to my room and quickly closed the door. That was close, I thought.

I quickly took off my clothes and carefully chose from the Addie closet. I put on my gray turtle neck with three-fourth sleeves, jeans and my trusty flip-flops. Now that was more of an Addie look. I finally came down to see the guys.

"Is Lin around?" Ed asked.

"No. Why?" I said, kinda hurt. He came to talk to me, but then as soon as he reaches the place, he looks for Lin.

"Oh, nothing." he said.

"Well don't just stand there, sit down!" Bea said bringing in the cookies, "Addie made these just for us. Her personal fave, chocolate chip," The boys quickly reached for some as soon as Bea put it on the table, but Bea took the plate before they had the chance to grab 'em.

"Addie likes gentlemen better than barbarians," she said helping herself to one. She looked at me, nodded and handed over the plate. I put it on the table, and then the boys kept on insisting that the other one should go first.

"I go first," I said to shut them up. Seeing that I was enjoying myself with the cookie, they both took a piece.

"The cookies are perfect," Ralph said.

"They're as wonderful as you," Ed complimented.

"Thanks," I smiled at the flattery. But the smile eventually faded.

"Are you okay?" Ed worried.

"No," I looked down.

"Well then, what's wrong?" Ralph asked

"I dunno. What IS wrong with you guys? I don't get you at all. You confuse me a lot. And I do mean A WHOLE LOT," I sighed, "I thought Ed liked Lin, and that Ralph didn't care that I existed. Why couldn't you tell me straight out?"

There was complete silence for a moment.

"I..." Eddie started. "I wanted to but didn't know how."

"I, on the other hand, did not even know that I had feelings for you," Ralph said defensively.

"I'd like to speak to you one by one, you first Ed." I said.

"I'll be waiting outside," Ralph said as he stood up dutifully, left the room.

"So?" I said as soon as I was sure that we were alone.

"I guess I didn't have the guts. I was afraid you wouldn't talk to me if I told you. I thought if you knew how I felt, you'd walk out on me. And I was proven right."

"You're wrong. If you directly told me how you felt, I probably would have leaped into the opportunity and most probably would have said 'yes'. But no, what did you do instead? You kept it hidden, just when I was so sure you had nothing kept from me. Do you have any idea what I had to go through? I had to force myself not to fall for you. Sadly, I was unsuccessful..."

"What's so sad about that?" Ed interrupted.

"I wasn't finished," I grimaced.

"Sorry," he said, "okay, listening."

" As I was saying, yeah, could you imagine how much of a fool I felt when I found out that the guy I like, likes me back through crumpled paper under his bed, while all along I thought he was in love with my very own cousin? I tried to stop myself from falling for you because I was afraid that my heart would deliberately be broken, just to find out my efforts were useless."

"I'm sorry Addie, I'm sorry for being such a coward. But I'm not sorry how I reacted when I saw you with Ralph. That was my moment, the time I was so sure that you'd be mine. But he just came out of nowhere and ruined my whole plan. But yeah, still because of him, I got the chance to eat some of your cookies." He said semi-smiling. "I'm going to wait for you. If you choose him over me, I'll definitely wait for you." he said leaving the room.

"Can I come in now?" Ralph knocked on the door.

"Sure," I sighed. "Why'd you come here?" I said in a not rude way (or so I hope).

"Where, here? You told me to come in, should I leave?"

"No, no, no... It's not that. I mean, why'd you move to Norwich? Weren't you happy back in LA?"

"I thought I was doing to do fine, but there was something missing. I couldn't figure out what. I just realized it wasn't a ‘what’ that was missing, instead it was a ‘who’. The 'who' I was missing was in Norwich, New York. The ‘who’ I was missing was you."

"Missed me? How could you miss me when back in L.A. I was just part of the background? You never. even. noticed me."

"That's what I thought too. I didn't think I'd fall for you. But I was strangely happy looking at you from afar. It seemed that my day wasn't complete without seeing you. Huh. You never even noticed me stealing a glance once in a while. I don't know why, but I have unconsciously fallen for you," Ralph said as he laid his hand over mine.

Being around Ralph felt a lot like L.A., I couldn't and didn't act like my real self for fear of rejection. But with Ed and the gang, I feel so natural, free to be me.

"You can go now." I said after a while, pulling my hand back. "I have a lot to think about."

The rest of the night I barely slept; I never stopped thinking. Who do I choose? Should I choose Ralph, the one who crossed the whole country to come close to me? Or should it be Ed, the one who's always been there for me?