Chapter 16 "Savanna"

"Here come our stars, Addie Driftwood and Tony Larkin," Cheska reported.

I smiled at Tony whole heartedly as we strutted down the aisle arm in arm, both of us in exclusive GS designs. We walked down the red carpet and waved to the crowd before we went in.

Yes, five years ago, I never would have thought I'd be standing side by side with Tony for a movie premiere. I gave myself a satisfied I looked up at the movie poster. It was my first movie where I got the chance for the lead, "The Life of a Teenage Super-Villain."

"Ed!" I called out to him at the lobby.

He turned from the counter and looked at me. He stood seemingly speechless, as he began to turn red.

"Ed, are you okay?" I said as I moved towards him.

"I... I... You... You look absolutely stunning.

"Thank you," I wryly replied trying not to let too much blood flow through my cheeks, "You look wonderful."

He took my arm and led me into the theater. I looked back at Gen who was having a fun lips to lips routine with Tony. They've been going out for quite some time now, longest I've seen with Tony. I was quite surprised much chemistry they had. It weirded me out when Tony turned out to be a total gentleman when Gen was around; but I never mentioned it to Gen.

The theater was packed, but we were given V.I.P. seats up-front. Gigi, Terence, Steven and Abby all waved at us as we went down. I saw mom and dad just right behind where we were to sit but Ed's was nowhere to be found. I tried to ask Ed, trying to make myself audible amongst the screams. Tony and Genevieve were now on our tails. "Hates Cinemas," Ed shouted back.

We all took our respective seats. As the movie was about to start, one last person came inside. He passed my seat, leaned closer to my ear and whispered, "I just couldn't miss it." He wryly stood up and headed to the empty seat between Trina and Bea. I couldn't concentrate on the movie at all. Tears suddenly flooded my eyes.

My heart was beating loudly. Ed, who sensed that I was tensed, gripped my hand and gave me a peck on the cheek.

I was able to keep my composure until the end of the movie. Ed readily gave me permission to talk to Ralph saying, “You’ve been waiting for this for almost a decade, I can’t see why not.

At that, I went out of the theatre and scanned the lobby, searching for a sign that he was around.

"Excuse me," I said all too formally as I spotted him.

He turned and smiled, "Yes? Oh, Addie! It's you! I've missed you. Great movie, by the way."

I smiled back at him but hastily wiped away that smile to set a serious mood, "Can I talk to you?"

"What about?"

"Us."

"Not us, Addie. You and me," he sternly corrected.

"Yeah, you and me."

"Sure," he beamed at me.

"But not here, there's too much media. Let's go back to the theater," I pulled him across the lobby and we both sat down at the center part of the very last row.

"I'd like to say that I'm real sorry for breaking up with you without giving you a reason. Well, to tell you honestly: I never really loved you. I did, but that was before us."

"It's okay. I-- I think I deserved it," he replied.

"That's an interesting theory," I said, curious of what he meant.

"Promise me that you won't get angry."

I looked at him suspiciously and considered what he said. "I'll try my best not to." I said.

"I knew you were Lin long before you moved away from L.A. You see, I saw you once, changing back into Addie. I mean, I didn't see you changing, but I was outside your dressing room. I've been a big fan from the start, y'know? You came in, Lin came out: Lin came back in, you came out. I waited for Lin to come out, but she never did. I never told anyone but my sister, I believe you've met her. Being a fame-seeker, I tried to woo you, hearing from my friends that you had it big for me. But I never really had the guts to talk to you back in L.A., I really didn't know what to say. When you moved to New York, it made me feel stupid: I never had the guts to say hi. A grand gesture of love was all it would take for you believe that I really liked you. I hadn't considered one part of the plan, you. I hadn't expected competition of course, but I thought of it as a fun challenge. I watched you so carefully so that I could find the right timing to make you fall for me. But it ended up the other way around: I fell for you. Wonderful feeling, ain't it? The hang-over stings though. Too bad I was too late. If I just took the chance before you left..." he paused and took a long good look at me.

"Addie?" Ed called, "it's time for us to go. Party's about to start."

"Coming!" I shouted back. I gave Ralph a hug and a peck on the cheek. "You'll always be the first guy I ever loved," I whispered. He stood up, took my hand and led me to Ed. Ed, in turn, took me with a warm smile and contentedly put his arm around my shoulders.

"You take care of her, or else. One false move, I won't hesitate to take her away," I heard Ralph whisper to him before he left the room.

"What was that?" I asked, as if Ralph were speaking in an alien language that was barely audible.

"Guy stuff," he grinned as he led me through the front door, "did I ever tell you that I love you?"

"Just enough times to keep my blood running," I sighed.

"Mommy!" a little girl barely a year old shrieked in my dad's arms.

"Hey there Savanna," I smiled gently as I took her into my arms.

"Let's go Mrs. Ramos," Ed grinned.

"Stop calling your mom," I said sternly.

"Sorry, I got carried away," he said as he cooed over Savanna. We laughed heartily as we all walked out of the theater.

Chapter 15 "Face the Fear"

"Are you sure about this?" dad asked as he straightened off my ruffled sleeve.

"I need to stop running away," I said taking a peak outside the drapes, waving at Gen.

"Excuse me," mom announced before she continued to relay the reason why I called a press conference to the media, but very carefully, not giving off important details.

It's been a week since my meltdown, but not until now have I ever felt so shaky in my life. I've already told Gen about the big secret. I was honestly scared of losing her, and being stranded in the war alone, but she gave me a warm hug and a nice assuring smile.

She convinced me to face the reality that I've always refused to see, and start facing what I fear. I was hesitant at first, but her assurance that she would still be there no matter what happened seemed to have given me extra guts. Then and there, I was sure, I've found myself a best friend.

And now I’m back in L.A. to face the challenge she gave me. But much more than that, to solve the problem that I had created

"Lin, it's time," Bea's whisper led me back to the present. I gave her a light nod before I stepped into the limelight. The cameras flashed their blinding lights and the crowd's murmur became louder as I elegantly placed myself on my seat. The entire room hushed as mom cued me onto the podium. I went on to the stage and gave out a loud huff.

"Good morning," I started. "First, I would like to thank all of you for being present tonight. I would like to tell you a story I have been too familiar with, and I think it is time to tell you. On the rainy morning of May 13, 1995, a certain girl was able to breathe her very first breath. She was born to the most popular couple in Hollywood and went about by the name of ‘Addie.’ She was born in a world full of fame and limelight and she reluctantly let it into her life. But the life of luxury and popularity was the reason why people rejected her. She was emotionally abused and bullied as she never did fulfill other people's expectations, the only one different, the only one who was so simple. Desperate to find a way out, she pretended to be someone else, someone that everyone would love, someone who was totally not her. From then on she had to live two separate lives. From then on, I came to be. From then on, Addie became me," I solemnly turned around and removed my identity as Lin, I was once again the plain Addie, red-haired, green-eyed and simple. "To Los Angeles, and to the world," I continued as my voice reigned over the crowd's hustle, "I am Adeline Driftwood. You are welcome to critic me or you may allow me to be. Either way, I am no longer afraid to show who I am." And with that, I moved down from the stage.

The interviewers raised their pens in hopes in being called so that I may answer their questions. My mom called out the reporter in a plaid dress and a perfectly cut bob, whom she seemed to know.

The media hushed as she stood up.

"Miss Lin," she started.

"Please, call me Addie," I politely corrected.

"Miss Addie," she continued, "does Mr. Ramos have anything to do with this?"

"Ed has nothing to do with this," I said struggling to stay in an upright position, "Ed being my boyfriend? Never happened. It almost did though, but I screwed it up. The truth is I only made it look like we were going out to keep Tony Larkin away. I realize that that was an unnecessary thing to do, selfish if I may."

"Miss Addie," a voice unmistakably from Cheska called from the crowd, "are you going to have to leave show business?"

"I will have to wait until my contracts end before I decide on that. If there are good offers proposed, I may continue."

"What will you do from now on?" a guy in his mid-fifties asked from the left-wing.

"I don't know really. I have no idea what to do. I'll have to start from scratch, I guess."

"What would you like to say to your fans?" A wimpy red-headed male squeaked.

"To my dearest fans who have always and always supported me, and who have been with me through thick and thin: I ask of your forgiveness. I am willing to receive all your comments and violent reactions. I'm sorry for hiding the truth from you. I'm sorry for being so selfish. I resolve to always be truthful from now on."

"Miss Addie!" the reporters all shouted inharmoniously competing for my attention, trying to get the best scoop.

At exactly 1:00 the last reporter left the conference room. My family left me with Gen at the front desk.

"Congratulations Addie, I'm so proud to you," Gen said giving me a tight hug, "no more secrets."

"Yeah... There is one thing that I haven't told you though," I mumbled.

"You're not Hannah Montana are you?" she said playfully.

"No," I laughed. "But seriously, there's one thing I have to ask you."

"Of course. Shoot it out," she said straightening up.

"Do you happen to know a guy named Ralph? Ralph Riggs?"

"S'matter of fact I do. He's my...-"

"-boyfriend?" I finished for her.

"Golly, no!" she said in disgust, "he's my brother from another dad. He's been living with his dad ever since mom got married to my dad. But he moved to Norwich to... what was that? Oh it doesn't really matter. Wait. Oh my gosh, he went after some girl. That was about almost the same time you moved."

I shrugged. "Well, he and I got together."

"And you didn't tell me?" she said failing to hide the smile on her face.

"But that's all over. I... um... broke up with him"

"What?" she said as her smile turned into a blank expression.

"I tried to love him. No, I did. But that was before I left, before my life was changed by Ed. And then I saw him with you, and totally got the wrong idea. But since I didn't know that, I took it as a chance to end our emotionless relationship," I looked at her, "you understand, right?"

"How did he deal with it?" she said ignoring my question.

"He was quite confused at first, but then he got his revenge because by the next day everyone was looking at me as if I convicted a heinous crime. And then he tried to bring Ed on his side, too."

"Was Ed-- you know-- 'brought to his side'?" she asked.

"I don't know. That was the very same day I left for London."

"I wasn't," Ed said as he entered the hall, catching his breath,

"How did you..." I said, unsure of what to say, "I mean, from NY to LA?"

"Jet. Contacted. Sylvester," he gasped as he got nearer to the desk. I stood up and ran to him to give him a tight hug.

"I hope you forgive me for not telling you," I said as I pulled back. He playfully punched my left shoulder.

"I already knew," he smiled.

"Ralph?" I guessed.

"What he said to me just assured me that I was still sane. I figured out most of it."

"You knew, and you didn't tell me." I said.

"You had a secret identity and didn't tell him," Gen said enjoying our conversation from the background.

"Point," Ed and I chorused. We both laughed.

"I suspected, the first day I met you, but I wasn't that sure. Then there was my first time at your place where I thought I saw Lin. Then at times when Lin calls, your voices aren't distinct at all, you should have worked on that. And then that interview, and the date with Ralph, where you were weirdly wearing the same bracelet, and make-up, you don't wear make-up."

Only I guy that interested would notice the bracelet. I smiled inevitably, and rewarded him with a kiss.

"Get a room," Gen teased.

"Get a boyfriend," I teased back.

"You ready for what's to come?" Ed said looking deeply into my eyes.

"I've learned to face my fear," I shrugged.

"That's my girl," Gen beamed.

Chapter 14 "Tag"

"Hey Addie," Ralph greeted me.

"You seem cheerful," I said gloomily.

"I have my reasons," he smiled as he sat down on the swing next to mine, "so, what do you want to talk about?"

"You and me," I slumped.

"Us?" he asked, slightly leaning towards my direction.

"Just, just you and me... No us... No we... Just you and me," I sighed. His cheery expression was now replaced with confusion.

"Are you... breaking up with me?" his eyebrows met at the center of his forehead.

I nodded silently allowing a fake tear run down my cheek.

"Could you at least tell me why?" he got off from his swing and stood in front of me. I stared at him without a sound. My tears were the only channel of emotion. He took me and put his arms around my shivering body.

"I know you've been keeping something from me," I said in a very weak voice pushing him away, "I just can't stand it. How could you?"

"But..." he attempted to explain himself.

"There's no need to explain. I'm happy for you." I sobbed loudly, comparable to a baby who dropped his pacifier as I walked away. As soon as I got inside the school building, I easily wiped off my tears and pulled myself together.

I paused before I continued to the hall, I sounded too much like Lin back there. Danger. Oh, what a mess I got myself into. I sighed and tried to catch my breath as I walked my way to the class room.

There were a few of my classmates chitchatting by the window who greeted me pleasantly. The school was still a ghost town. I greeted my classmates with a smile and excused myself.

I sat down on my seat and suddenly felt woozy.

The next thing I knew I wasn't in my classroom anymore. It didn't look like anywhere I've been. "Addie! Addie!" a crowd of paparazzi called out. They buzzed questions and took pictures as they devilishly looked at me. It went pitch dark and suddenly there was a dim light high above me that seemed to only light up a meter's radius at most. I struggled to get out but I was stuck on my chair, my hands tied behind me. "Why, Addie? Why? Or should I say Lin?" Ed said as he came stepped into the light.


"Ed... Ed..." I tried to answer him back but the only sound that my mouth was able to produce was inaudible mumbles. I heard a laugh from behind him. "It's a good thing you broke up with me. I wouldn't want to have anything to do with you." Ralph said as he came into view. I screamed, or at least I tried. Suddenly I fell into a hole and found myself in the middle of a crowd. "Addie?! Addie?!" I heard Gen's voice booming over the crowd's busy buzz. I looked around to try to catch a glimpse of her. Right now, I really needed someone to talk to. "Addie?!" her voice continued to call, "Addie!" her voice started changing "Addie." until now it was all husky and masculine.


I opened my eyes and found that I was lying on a lumpy bed. "You passed out in your classroom this morning. Too much stress won't do you any good y'know?" Terence said as soon as he noticed that I was already conscious.

"Where am I?" I said trying to restore a steady vision.

"School clinic. I'm glad you're okay," he said gripping my hand.

"Where's Ed?" I asked feebly.

"I have no idea. But I'm sure he'll be here soon," he excused himself and went to get the nurse. She checked my reflexes and allowed me to go as soon as she finished. I stood up but my feet were too heavy to hold my weight. Terence quickly broke my fall by catching me with his bulky arms. "Careful there," he flashed a jerky smile.

"Thanks, but I can do it myself." I said stepping away from his protective arms. I took three wobbly steps and managed to keep myself upright. I turned and beamed at him, and he beamed back in a brotherly way. But it didn't last more than that. My body toppled as I tried to take the fourth step, luckily, someone broke my fall. But it wasn't Terence's strong arms. I looked up and found Ed looking down at me. He helped me up and guided me to the parking lot.

"Where are we going?" I said breaking the long silence between us.

"I'm going to have to bring you home," he said as he helped me down the stairs.

"I don't want to. There's still three quarters of the class to go through," I muttered struggling my way off his grip. Stubborn as I am, I got away. My wobbly feet tried to step a stair higher. One at a time, I thought.

Ed looked at me from the bottom of the staircase with a hint of worry in his eyes. He didn't argue because he always knew I'd still win.

It took me forever to reach the top of the staircase. I looked back at him and gave him a triumphant smirk. I stepped away from the stairs but I lost my balance. Gravity pulled me back.

"Eddie!" I shrieked as I lost control. With a thud, Ed broke my fall. He groaned in agony. I quickly stood up, asked for forgiveness and said a feeble thank you.

The next thing he did took me by surprise. He threw his arms around me, I could feel him shiver. "I love you," he whispered. I put my dizzy head against his chest and smiled at the sound of his heartbeat.

"Your heart is beating abnormally fast," I mentioned.

"Happens every time I see you," he said brushing his hand through my hair.

"And now I can feel mine beat a bit more harder too," I looked up to him, leaning in for a kiss. It was deep, warm, passionate kiss. He backed off gently.

"I should probably get you home now," he said all flushed. This time, I simply looked at the building and nodded. He opened the door of his Corolla and led me in.

"Don't you have a class?" I asked as soon as he started the engine.

"Free period," he casually replied as he backed up the car.

"Oh," I said, followed by a long period of silence. But it wasn't at all awkward; it was weirdly warm and lovely.

"Is Ralph going to be okay with this? With us?" he suddenly asks.

"I don't know. But he has to be," I said looking through the window, "I... I broke up with him just this morning."

"Really?" he said with an intrigued smile.

"How about you and Lin? I mean, are you two doing fine? I mean, it's taboo to cheat on someone with her own cousin," I said, wanting to get a view of his part of the story.

"Well, that's something I've been meaning to tell you," he said in an awkward tone. I looked at him with an uncertainty.

"Lin and I…-" he started.

"-Are still together, huh?" I finished with a hint of a heavy load in my voice.

"No, no, that's not it. It's just that Lin and I were never an item. All that hullabaloo was fake."

"Wha... Wha... Really?" I stuttered, thinking ahead of my reaction, wryly trying not to act too much like Lin.

"She hired me as a dietitian, a personal assistant and a stage boyfriend," he shrugged.

"So I guess we're free from anxiety," I said leaning a bit closer to him.

"Yeah," he said releasing one hand from the wheel and grabbing onto mine, "and no secrets in between. Just like before, but better," he said looking straight at where we were heading, unconsciously stabbing a sword of guilt onto my chest. And all I did was smile.

I could barely sleep that night. Aside from the high fever I just got that evening, my conscience couldn't seem to take a rest. My brain kept on replaying the words, "I love you" and "no secrets" in an alternate pattern. I promised myself to tell Ed as soon as I see him. My eyes soon gave in to the powers of Mr. Sandman, my brain tired from riding the roller coaster of thoughts.

I woke up to birds starting their morning with a happy tune. I've overslept. As soon as I realized the time, I didn't waste a second longer I got ready in 10 minutes. I grabbed a sandwich and chomped it down as I rode down in my bike. Luckily, I got inside the classroom in time.

When I arrived, my classmates all stared as I passed. They glanced menacingly at me, then at Ralph. For the rest of the morning, the whole class acted as if I wasn't there.

My heart seemed to be dragged down into the core of the earth. As soon as the bell for the lunch break rung, I took long strides, wanting to get out of my classmates' range.

I was the first to reach the cafeteria, so lunch was an easy grab. I saw Gigi entering at the corner of my eye, but I kept walking. I settled down at the OB. I remember when I last visited the place, the time when my life got so complicated I didn't think it through of what was the best way out, and instead I used the easiest one.

Some paper hearts were still hanging from the ceiling, a few lay messily on the floor; their colors faded to scarlet.

I ate in the deafening silence. Two pairs of footsteps started to echo down the hall.

"What did you want to talk about?" I heard Ed's voice as soon as the tapping footsteps stopped. Too much loneliness can make you hear weird stuff, I said to myself as I stared at the ceiling inside an abandoned classroom.

"It's about Addie," Ralph said in a gruff voice that told me that I wasn't at all imagining Ed's voice.

"You can't have her back," Ed said defensively.

"Oh, I don't want to have her back," Ralph laughed, "I don't want a cheat and a liar hanging around me."

"How dare you call Addie a liar?" Ed said as I heard a loud thump against the rusty lockers.

He laughed even louder, "She's a fraud. You? One of her victims. In fact, her entire being is a lie. Listen, she's Adeline Driftwood. Addie-Lin Driftwood." I could imagine Ed's angry and confused face by now. I couldn't stand listening anymore. I ran outside through an emergency door. I went straight home, and didn't even have time to think of my afternoon classes.

Maybe, Ralph's told my classmates of my double identity, too. How did he find out? How long did he know?

"Addie?" Gen's accent never failed to lighten me up.

"Hey Gen, mind if I visit?" I said as I looked out of the window.

"Dear Golly! Here? In London? Now?" she said sounding unsure.

"If it's okay. My life's kind of a mess here," I sighed.

"I don't really approve of it, but I can't deny that it would be a ton of fun to have you around. You can't keep running off to somewhere when you get caught in a mess," she said sternly.

"I know... I'm just trying to cool off..."

"Promise you're coming back to the U.S. to fix whatever mess that is right after you've cooled off," her voice instructed.

"I promise," I assured her before I dropped off the line.

I nodded at Sylvester, who in turn instructed the pilot to start the ignition. In a few a minutes, the view outside the window was all blue, the sea and the sky separated by a horizontal border.

Gen was right, I do run away from my problems, I always have. I've been playing tag with the speed of light, and it's wearing me off. I'm tired of playing hide and go seek. I'm tired of this kind of life. Tag. I'm it.